Cry it out Night 2: Don’t jinx it.

Monday 6:45 PM: Ben is bathed and in his PJs. He’s nursing, but fitfully. Stopping frequently and sometimes crying at little before latching back on. Tired boy. We had gone back and forth about the order of operations for the bedtime routine. Ben often falls asleep nursing before bed and the reading we’d been doing cautioned against this. Better for him to go to bed awake, but sleepy. Should we nurse first, then take a bath? In the end, we decided to stick with the regularly scheduled programming; I would wake him a little if he fell asleep. But, clearly, that wasn’t  a concern tonight. After a while of alternately nursing and crying he seems to be all done. I give him his pacifier and kiss his head. “Good night. Mama loves you.” and put him in his crib and walk out the door.

6:51PM: I’m downstairs and the clock is ticking. We’ll wait 10 minutes. I busy myself with turning on the grill and finishing dinner. We’re having kebobs and salads. I turn the monitor off thinking I don’t want to listen to this. Then I turn it back on, thinking I do.

7:00 PM: Silence. Nine minutes. Just like last night. How odd. Ted and I smile at each other. “I think he’s asleep,” I say. “I’m not ready to be happy yet,” he says, “Don’t jynx it.” But we sit outside and have a wonderful dinner and conversation and aren’t interrupted at all. After dinner, I make dinner for Wednesday night. I haven’t cooked in months. I realize that I might have time now for that and I’m happy.

9:15 PM:  On my way to bed I sneak in Ben’s room to check on him. He’s sideways again, this time with his head toward the wall and his feet toward the door. He’s sleeping peacefully.

1:27 AM: I wake up. Did I hear something? No. Really? I get up and open my bedroom door. Nothing. Just the crickets in the yard. I go back to bed.

5:15 AM: The neighbors stupid sprinkler system goes on and wakes me up. Plus, I’m cold. I press up against Ted to get warm and internally curse the neighbors and their stupid sprinkler system. Its been raining EVERY FREAKING DAY for 2 weeks they could turn the stupid thing off or at least set it to come on at a decent hour. I wonder if it will wake Ben up. I strain to listen for him over the din of the artificial rainstorm taking place in my front yard, but hear nothing. I consider getting up and going for a ride, but worry that as soon as I do, Ben will wake up hungry and Ted will be stuck up that creek so I try to get comfortable and block out the noise.

6:00 AM: I’ve dozed, but only just because the sprinkler system has been going this whole time. Over-water much? “Are you awake?” I whisper to Ted. “Yes,” he whispers back. “He didn’t wake up all night, did he? Did you hear him?” I ask. “No. I didn’t hear him. I think he slept all night.” Wow. “I’m going to take a shower.” I say.

Ben wakes up shortly after I get out of the shower. Ted distracts him with a diaper change while I get dressed. Again this morning, he’s hungry and eats with seriousness and purpose, but is quickly done and ready to play. Also this morning, my boobs are threatening to explode. One is warm to the touch. I wonder if I should maybe pump during the night or try to ride it out. Something I’ll have to explore with other moms who’ve been through this kind of thing.

On the way to school, Ben falls asleep. Eleven hours of sleep wasn’t enough? Maybe he’s catching up from the last two months of interrupted sleep too. He pops awake when the car stops and he’s clamoring to get out of his car seat and go into school. He loves school. Its awesome. There, I proudly note when he last went to sleep (7:00 PM) and when he last woke up (6:30 AM) and even make a note, “Not a peep!”

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