Today is probably the last time I’ll see A. Not sure how I’m feeling. Yesterday, I asked him if he wanted to have lunch and he basically said no. I didn’t know what to make of that, but have tried to just let it go. I realize we’ve spent the last two years coming to this and saying our goodbyes. It not fair or necessary to force one now, just for some sake of propriety, when all it brings is sadness and hurt. But at the same time, when the end of the day comes, what am I supposed to say?
If I could, A, I would tell you thanks…and I’m sorry…and good luck. For all these years. For everything we’ve been through and done to each other. For all the good parts and all the bad parts. I have no regrets about any of it. I am who I am because of you. My good parts and my bad parts. I cannot look back on my life and not think of you. You will always be with me in my memories, in Fischer’s eyes, in my humor, in my taste for art and movies and archatecture. May all your dreams come true.